Authenticity #2

Take a minute and google “Things an authentic leader does” or similar phrase. The hits will be in the millions. Even on this platform there is a blog by R Sharma “Authentic leaders do this on a regular basis”.  All come with good advice and all come with an “action list” of things you, the leader, must do to be, well, a leader.

It is not often I see the recommendation to be “authentic”.

Would this be because it is a tough term to define? More than probably. Or is it possibly that in our current world it is all about image, and less about truth – including the truth of who I am? Are we able – perhaps “allowed” is a better word – to show the real me still? Even Hollywood stars seem to portray a “real me” which is anything but.

The thing about authenticity is that there is then no falsehood between us. No cling wrap which causes me to touch you but still be kept at a distance. With authenticity, I know that I am dealing with the real you. Is does not mean I have to nor guarantee I will like it. Is also does not mean that you have to remain obnoxious or uncouth. That is not authenticity – but we can investigate that together at another time.

Authenticity allows a person to look at him- or herself  in the mirror without being afraid. Unafraid of who he might see. Comfortable with who may look back. When you look in the mirror, do you look into your own eyes? Some people have no problem with this, but for the wrong reason. In another blog, I want to explore that too.

When you read this today, try unwrapping a few layers of cling wrap. Let people experience a little more of the real you. But don’t make it an action list item.

Authenticity #1

Talking to students I regularly ask what Authenticity means. I am always looking for something practical as opposed to an ethereal exposition few understand and even fewer will be able to follow.

As a point of departure, I lead with the succinct definition of authenticity: ‘to be an original of yourself, not a copy of someone or something else’. That works only if the original is one that meets the characteristics of ethics and integrity!

Apart from that point, authenticity is experienced rather than observed.  When leaders lead with authenticity, when they show who and what they really are – warts and all – authenticity becomes believable and even desirable in the organisation. It is not weakness; it is a profound strength to show the authentic you.

Have we become afraid to be authentic? Does our societal lust for retribution and/or perfection make it impossible for a leader to acknowledge his or her mistakes, which is an integral part of being authentic?

Quote to remember

“Ethics is what happens when I apply integrity regularly and consistently” – Dr Theo Marais

A Slippery Slope

Recently a friend re-posted something on Facebook.  Briefly it related the story of a young couple who married and decided, for the week of their honeymoon, not to open the door to anyone.  The first day the young husband’s parents came to visit, but with difficulty he refrained from opening the door.  The next day the young bride’s parents knocked on the door.  After a pause she whispered “I can’t do this to my parents!” and opens the door to her parents. Then the details of the births of two sons and, when a daughter is born, the father throws a big party because “she is the one who will open the door for me”.  Big snot and tears all round and a general feeling of mush.

But am I the only one to see the problem?

Stuff the mush and fuzzy feeling.  Stuff the general teary-eyed, heart-string pulling last paragraph. The young bride broke her word to her husband on the second day of their marriage.  Her promise to her new knight in shining armour meant nothing to her, nor his sacrifice the previous day when he kept his word.  Forgotten the wise instruction to leave and cleave. And then we all celebrate this unfaithfulness and raise up, as a beacon of good (even of ethics), the fact that the little girl will one day follow in the footsteps of her mother.

That is where the problem lies. When we celebrate the wrong as being wholesome; when we give accolades to breaking of one’s word for the sake of a fuzzy feeling; when honesty, dependability and TRUST is given away for what is blatantly a lack of those very same things – that is when leadership and ethics are in serious trouble.  No, don’t take me on with an “ahh – come on!” attitude.  This is a root issue.

The out-working of even silently accepting this example is a leadership who does not take responsibility.  Of politicians, cabinet ministers and others who shift blame and don’t take their sphere of influence seriously anymore.  Of people who don’t keep their word; of people who will ignore contractual obligations and hide behind the fact that it costs money to sue them for performance; of senior management who chop and change their decisions and who eventually become the brunt of sarcastic joking.  This is when a president of a country can act in ways that are clearly, openly and blatantly wrong (shall I dare say criminal) and the system is manipulated and others blamed for his lack of integrity, responsibility and example.  That is when leadership becomes toxic.  That is when we see Hitlers and the like rising with impunity.  It starts with allowing the rot to creep in…

Let me take it from the other side: what would you teach your daughter out of that story?  Would you seriously want her to follow in the young bride’s footsteps?  Or would you somewhere, somehow, understand that it is not really the right thing to do, but still like the story all the same?  Well, your young daughter does not have that bit of experience to know that it is, at the core, not right.  Your parents and even community would have put that in you at a young age.  If you don’t teach your daughter the difference at the same age, she will indeed be unable, one day, to know the difference.

That’s when we see the illogical, mind-numbing mess that our leadership is in today.  That is when we need to learn about ethics 101 again – or perhaps for the first time.

 

A Great Leader

A characteristic of a great leader, in my view, is one who is relevant.  Relevance. What is it to be relevant? Moreover, how do I determine my relevance as a leader? As a matter of fact, how do I measure that?

Yesterday I sat in a meeting with a highly educated peer who asked me what I do. When I mentioned that I inter alia equip and develop leadership and ethics potential, he said he found those subjects esoteric, and how do I do that?

Firstly I was intrigued by his use of the term “esoteric”. According to definition it means

“intended for or likely to be understood by only a small number of people with a specialized knowledge or interest.”, or

“understood by or meant for only the select few who have special knowledge”.

Well, in that case thank you Sam for including me with such an elite grouping. I take it as a compliment.  However, I am wondering whether we don’t lump ‘relevance’ – and especially as a leader – into the same stormy esoteric teacup.

Because I like to keep things simple, lets break it down. “Relevance” seems to be mostly defined as

“important to the matter at hand”, or

“Something is relevant to a task if it increases the likelihood of accomplishing the goal”.

So restating the question: Am I as leader important to, and increasing the likelihood of those following me, in reaching their goals? Perhaps I should first spend a little time to determine what the “matter at hand” really amounts to, and how the goal should be defined. Too often we, and those in our offices, live from month-end to month-end and the little EFT at that month-end. And then we start all over again.

So am I relevant to those in my office – in setting goals, in helping them to achieve even personal goals in their careers, jobs, lives?  To be a great leader and even a great boss?  Or should I ask myself – what is it that I need to do to become relevant in the lives of my personnel and the peers around me even? I may be surprised at the answers I receive.

A second question to ask is whether, and how, I am relevant in the lives of my clients and customers. Sure, I may be a financial intermediary to them but that does not imply relevance per se.  Or I may be a tradesman or some other occupation society may want to deem a minor nuisance.  Face it – I don’t see a plumber unless I have (usually an expensive) problem.

The fact is, we all are capable of relevance. Regardless. And a plumber with an understanding of his relevance will make a difference – like the US taxi driver who sends his client base Christmas cards every year. Yes, a taxi driver with a client base! Relevant.

So where do I begin? First sit down and make a cup of coffee. Then to think of those around me – staff, family, then clients – and think on what level and to what degree I am relevant in their lives. Do I add to the likelihood of them achieving their goals? These should primarily be business goals as we are on business time.  But it may (even should) include some personal goals.  If so, how?  And whether I am important to the matter that is important to them.

It may take several cups of coffee.

Marketing & Ethics or Marketing vs Ethics

At a recent countrywide workshop, I presented to a specific interest group on building an ethics vision in the financial industry. I used the last 30 seconds of a 75 minute time slot to introduce/promote/market my recent publication to the various audiences. Why these different terms? Because they all apply and, more specifically, I received what may be construed as a complaint.

One member of the audience asked, on the comment card, how ethical it was for me to promote my book to a captive audience. After thinking a while on the pathology of his question I realised why it bothered me. It bothered me because he had missed the point, the golden thread of the presentation. That was not what ethics is about at all.